Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Back on track!

I am back. Ive been wanting to be back for a long time now but school, work, internship, and my recent aspirations of modeling have taken up any and all time I have left. It has been over a year since I last wrote so I guess I should catch everyone up on my life. Last year I started my Master’s in Clinical Psychology with an Emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy. My road to being a therapist, working with the eating disorder population, has started! I have had an amazing time so far at Pepperdine University, and I am learning so much, that I am already starting to feel like a real person! I have also started an internship as a “practicing therapist” at a substance abuse center in Compton, CA. It has been a very interesting experience and it feels so amazing being able to practice what I have been learning in school to help better other people’s lives. Its amazing. The reason I did not choose to get an internship at an ED (eating disorders) unit was because I had previous experience at Princeton University Medical Hospital working in the eating disorders unit (which was the most amazing experience), so I wanted to broaden my scope a bit and learn about a different population. I also currently work at Jenny Craig. When I first started working there about a year ago, I didn’t realize how good of a fit it would be for me, but over time I realized that disordered eating has a huge range of how it can affect a person. Overeating and Undereating both are huge issues in today’s society. What they both have in common is that as a “therapist” or “weight loss consultant”, you are trying to help your client obtain a new relationship with food and their body. Both have a hard time with overcoming the control food has had in their lives, and at Jenny Craig I get to help people to establish a new lifestyle towards food and themselves.
 My newest life venture, which is also the primary topic of this post is my new interest in Modeling. I am well aware the stigma of the modeling world and how that effects the media, publications, fashion, etc; and how that has affected society as a whole, especially the female population. Fashion and modeling place a great deal of emphasis towards thin women, and since that is the preference, we see it everywhere. My journey with the modeling world started last year when I auditioned for America’s Next Top Model. This is also where my idea of what type of model I wanted to be had started. During auditions I had met an awesome beautiful girl, who was tall like me, but was not the “stereotypical model”. She was lean, toned, healthy looking, and had curves to her, which most models on the catwalk are missing. As I looked around the group of females I was with, everyone was different shapes and sizes, and it was great to see we had all been in the later rounds of the competition. The girl I had described ended up finishing in the TOP 2! of that season on America’s Next Top Model, and for me that’s when it really dawned on me that the modeling world is starting to change. She did not have to fit the “mold” of a 5’10, 100lbs model, but she still succeeded. A lot of pressure and years of casting those type of models have limited to the runways to size 0s. It seems that the break of 2-4-6-8s are now making their way.
 I have done a lot of thinking about my modeling and how it would affect my career as a therapist working with people with eating disorders, knowing that the industry I am involving myself in has been used as “thinspiration” for thousands of girls who find themselves bent over the toilet because they are trying to strive for thinness. I have thought a lot about it, and realized that the model I want to become is to become a model that should be a inspiration, not a thinspiration. I want to be the model that eats healthy, not depriving herself to fit into a sample size. There is such an obsession with thinness in model world, and I want to enjoy this experience, not suffer through it. I also want to use my modeling to advocate more for ED and positive body image. Basically I want to use this opportunity to be not just a model, but a ROLE model. I know in that, I will succeed. ☺ I will try to update this blog more often with information about ED or just cool articles I think pertain. If you come across any articles feel free to share so I can post it as well. I am so excited to get restarted on this journey! Glad you can join me!